It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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