Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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