I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
