his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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