Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
