Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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