the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
