so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You don't make any sense
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