weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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