She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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