Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
