Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
