Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She's the barista slut.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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