like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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