I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
