Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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