Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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