Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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