ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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