Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
