Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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