this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
