Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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