I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize