Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
