when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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