I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
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I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
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That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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