Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Pete Davidson Says He Uses His Father’s Death To ‘Last Longer In Bed’ With Ariana Grande
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman’s Apartment Hunt Takes A Wrong Turn When Broker Accidentally Sexts Her
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.