i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
