Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
