I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So much rum. So many feels.
The uberlube is also flammable
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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