Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
