It's Friday. Sex?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
