Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
