everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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