I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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