Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
