My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
