My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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