woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
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According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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