i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
soo... how was my night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
