I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
