We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's Friday. Sex?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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