Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
