I'm gonna have a badass scar
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize