what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
