NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
