So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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