We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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