dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
