chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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