hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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