I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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