new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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