walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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