everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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