you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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