take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
