will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
