Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
