She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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