You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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