I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
from now on my penis is your penis
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
