first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
